


Stand with me

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Dissociation, Fix-It, Gen, I dunno what this is honestly, I'm making this into my own thing fuck you JJ, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, Incomplete, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Tags to be added, i have no plot i am just going to go apeshit i guess, itll probably show up later because i cant resist, omens and portents, space tarot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22046524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I have absolutely no plan in place for this, and likely won't finish it, so bear that in mind! I am feeling emotional after TRoS, so I figured I would write out my problems.Spoilers for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (IX) below HEREEssentially, I'm rewriting the ending and that one scene with the cliff and the death, you know what im talkin about. Anyway everyone lives! That's the plan. In store: found families, hijinks, chewie is clueless, me projecting my issues onto ben
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 1





	1. I

He’s falling,

down,

down,

down.

He lost, he knows that. Lightning flashes, a boom of thunder follows.

The familiar weight in the center of his chest twinges. He feels the strength of her emotion, in there. No idea what, but she’s feeling. And feeling means still alive.

He looks down, barely in time. Rock is rushing towards him, closer, closer. Easy as breathing, he slows himself. This power has a name, but it’s a stupid one. He doesn’t use it.

He lands. His leg twists under him, and he nearly falls. He looks up, and lightning flashes again. He can climb. Back up to her. He can help fight.

The stone is cold on his hands, but dry. Lightning with no rain, at least. The first hand up is painful, muscles in his twisted leg pulling in ways they shouldn’t. The world swims, blurs. He can’t see, and then he can.

He keeps climbing.

-

She dies. He feels it. He’s a few feet away. Trying to get to her across empty floor. He curses it for being so rocky, things poke him, scrape at him, as he pulls himself towards her. A sound comes out of his mouth, one he has not heard in... a long time.

He is crying, he can feel the wet on his face, in her hair. He’s holding her, and the weight in his chest is gone. She is gone. He pulls her tight, seizes at that weight. She did this, for him.

He almost collapses, almost gives up, almost falls. But her hand twitches, a brief touch against his own. He keeps doing this, sure that it’s working, now. Giving, and giving, and giving. It’s been too long, since he gave something, he thinks.

She sits up, and he has never felt happier. She is alive. He didn’t fail. She smiles at him, and says his name, his real one, the one that was a gift to him, from his parents. She didn’t call him that, before.

-

They’re still sitting, when her friend arrives. With the hair and the stubble, Poe, he calls himself. Pulls a gun on him, threatens, _did you hurt her?_ Poe asks. _Never_ , he says. Poe waits.

She nods, _Ben is coming with us_ , she says, and it’s his name again. Poe offers him an arm, lifts him up. He can’t stand, he thinks, and says, _thank you_. Poe nods.

The ship is grey, the falcon, he knows that. He hates this ship, has been chasing it for forever. The furry beast stares, makes a noise. The gunner looks at Poe, says nothing. Poe looks back, says nothing.

Poe leaves him and her in a room. There are beds, medical equipment. He looks at her, and she’s looking at him. The weight in his chest twinges, and he smiles. She smiles back, and says nothing.

He sleeps.

-

Ben wakes up, and the neon lights pound into his head. A sharp pain hits, at the base of his neck. Killer headache. Something clicks in his mind, and the pain shoots in.

_Twisted ankle, fractured ribs, pulled about every muscle in his back and arms, possible concussion_. It’s on a sheet of paper, on a table. Pushed up, so he can see, he thinks. Silently, he thanks Rey.

He is still conscious, still awake. Rey is near him, across the room. She is talking quietly to Poe, with the silly hair. She sees him sit up, but says nothing.

Poe turns to look, and makes a face. Not a smile, but not a frown. _Why did she save you?_ Poe asks. _Why are you here? I don’t want you on my ship. Sith don’t belong here._

She grabs Poe’s arm, and he turns to her. _What?_ She shakes her head. _Be kind_ , she says. _He saved my life. We can talk later_.

Ben is grateful for this. He feels the feeling in his chest, knows that she’s calm, unworried. He sits back. Closes his eyes. 

And is asleep.

-

Ben dreams.

_It’s the fight at the sea. The waves are massive, looming. Rey is tired, and angry. He can feel it in waves off her. This time, she takes his hand. He wishes she didn’t._

_She takes his hand, and the thing in his chest screams. It burns, and it’s searing a hole through him. Rey looks down, at his chest._

_The sea hits him, and he’s tumbling into the waves, cold and deep. His chest is still burning, real flames licking at him now. Palpatine stands above him, as he settles onto the sea floor. He scowls, and looks at the throne._

_It is empty, and then it isn’t. Rey sits there. She took his hand, he remembers. She beckons him, come sit. There’s room for him, next to her. He sees this._

_He does not sit on the throne._

_Palpatine reaches out, and he’s choking, drinking seawater. Rey is here, except she’s realer, somehow. She reaches out to Ben, and he knows this. They’ve done it before, this thing. They fight in two places at once, sometimes._

_Except, she doesn’t attack him. She pulls his arm, pulls him up, out of the water._

-

Ben wakes up alone. He is drenched in sweat. An odd clock on the wall ticks, counting seconds. 

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

At fifty-eight seconds, Rey enters the room. She looks haggard, but healthy. Tired only. She carries something steaming. Hot food, he thinks. There is a chair beside his bed. She sits, and sets the food nearby.

_Are you alright?_ She asks. She plays with something, a dirty bit of leather, looks like a broken strap. He feels the tug in his chest, knows that she is searching, trying to look inside him.

_Fine_ . He says. It sounds too loud. He scowls at himself, and sits up straighter. _Back hurts, arms too. Not used to scaling cliff faces with only one leg._ He hasn’t spoken much, his voice is hoarse, scratchy. 

Rey nods. _Poe wants to kill you._ She says. _He doesn’t trust you. Thinks you’ll use this,_ and she tugs at the weight in his chest, again, _to hurt me. He wants you to explain._ She lifts the food, and hands it to him. He takes it.

Barrbokh soup, he thinks. Like he’s a sick child, stuck at home with his mother leaning over him. A memory tries to come up, unbidden. He keeps it down, for now. But eats the soup.

It’s good, warming. The vegetables were canned until only recently, but the broth is hearty. Rey looks at him, long and hard. She doesn’t blink enough. A family trait, Ben thinks, and then scolds himself. 

_Will he talk now?_ He asks. Wanting to get it over with. He sets the bowl aside, stands. He is not foolish enough to let his hand leave the bed frame, but he still almost falls. Rey grabs his arm, holds him up. Her hand is warm, sturdy. 

_Yes._ She says. There is digital panel on the wall. She types into it, and Poe enters, quickly. _Kylo Ren._ Poe says, quietly.

_Ben. Ben Solo._ Ben says. Poe raises an eyebrow, nods. 

_How can I trust you?_ Poe asks. He sits, gingerly, on Rey’s bed. Has his fair share of scrapes and bruises. A busted lip.

_I don’t know._ _I don’t think you can, yet._ Ben sighs, sits back down. His head spins. It hurts to look at Poe, to see the bright white lights burn into his eyes. 

_Rey won’t talk about what happened. Will you?_ Poe asks. He takes off his jacket, settles in. Ben’s gaze unfocuses, and he has to force it back. His head pounds. He pulls his eyes towards Poe’s, looks at him, straight-on.

_No._

_Why?_

_It is not my story to tell._ Ben rubs his eyes. His ribcage throbs. The lights buzz, flicker. _I will not hurt her, or you. I swear on my life._ Poe looks at him, says nothing.

  
Poe nods, stands. The door slides open. _Feel free to leave the room. You aren’t a prisoner. Just don’t press any buttons, hey?_ Poe chuckles. Ben nods.


	2. II

It’s a few weeks later. Ben is settling in, but Rey is worried. He’s lost, she knows the feeling. She’s feeling it too. Her purpose is gone. The Sith are gone. She’s done her duty, but she doesn’t know what’s next. 

What is there to do when you’re the last Jedi in the whole universe, (you think) and just defeated the eternal enemy to the Jedi? Anything else seems… mundane. She catches herself at that, and rubs her eyes.

There’s a knock, at the wall next to her room. The door fell out long ago, but she likes the curtain better. Inconvenient for knocking, though. It’s Finn. Poe never knocks.

_ Come in.  _ She says, and stands. Finn smiles at her, but something pulls at it. It doesn’t reach his eyes.  _ What is it? _ Finn sighs.

_ Poe has made Rose the general. Says he couldn’t do the responsibility, wanted to be in charge of himself, nobody else. She said yes. I’m just… worried. About him. All of us. What are we going to  _ do _ , now that the war’s over? _ He sits, next to her, on her bed. She rests her head on his shoulder.

_ I have been thinking the same thing. The Force is pulling me to do something, make something happen, but I don’t know what. I can’t just stop helping people, but I don’t want to be doing what every one else is doing, fixing things, rebuilding. They don’t need me for that. _ Rey sighs.

_ Let’s think. What can you do that nobody else can? What does the universe need that only you can provide. _ Finn is wearing Poe’s jacket, again. She doesn’t know when that became a thing. Recently, she thinks. After the war. 

_ Use the Force. Only, I… I don’t know. I don’t want to fight anything. I’m not even sure that I’m the only one, anyways. Ben can use the Force, though I’m not sure he’s quite a Jedi.  _ Rey rubs her eyes, again. She can feel a headache coming on.

_ About that. _ Finn says. He turns to face her, legs crossed on her bed.  _ We found… something. Don’t know what. Come look. _ He gets up. Rey follows.

-

Something has popped up, on one of the display monitors. It’s a little yellow light, nothing they’ve even seen before.  _ What do you think it is? _ Poe asks. Chewie looks over, and his face lights up. 

_ Seen that before! _ He says.  _ With Han Solo. Force power. Not Jedi, or Sith. Saw Skywalker with it. _ None of them quite know how they can understand Chewbacca, he doesn’t speak their same language. Something about it just. Translates.

_ Force power? _ Finn asks. Rey looks up, and everyone is looking at her. She grimaces, and looks back at the display. 

_Tatooine._ She says. _That’s nearby._ _We’re going, right?_ Without waiting for an answer, she straightens. _I’m going to tell Ben. He’s part of the crew now, you know._ Poe sighs, lets her leave.

Ben is shuffling a deck of cards, at the game table. He doesn’t look to be playing anything. Just, staring into nothing. Shuffling.

_ Ben. _ He jumps, looks around. Relaxes when he sees it’s Rey. She sits down next to him, shoulders touching.  _ We’ve found something. Force power. On Tatooine. We should be leaving soon, I think. Providing Poe doesn’t change his mind about being General. _

_ It’s been weeks, Rey. He’s had plenty of time to change his mind.  _ Ben looks like he wants to say something more. 

_ What is it? _

_ Tatooine. It’s where my grandfather was from. _

_ Oh. _ Rey doesn’t have anything else to say. Ben shakes his head, looks away.

_ Care for a game? _

_ Sure, what’re you playing? _ Rey slides around the table, across from him now. Most of the games on the table, she dislikes. Moving pawns, letting them die. It’s impersonal, just slaughter. She prefers the card games, playing chance. Poe doesn’t let her play anymore, says she uses the Force to cheat.

_ Nothing, really. Just… _ Ben shrugs, set the cards down. They fan out in front of him, two suits. Red and blue. Fifteen classes. He picks them back up again. 

Shuffles. 

He deals a two player hand, ten cards each. Every game starts like this. Ten each, ten in center. Rey looks at her hand. Empress of Red, Emperor of Red, Red duke, Knight of Blue, Blue ten, eight, seven. Red seven, six. Her final card was one she hadn’t seen before, didn’t belong in the deck. Yellow Empress.

_ Ben, have you mixed the cards with something else? I’ve got one that doesn’t belong. _ Ben shakes his head, spreads his hand in front of him.

_ No. They’re fortune-telling cards. They change, when. Power touches them.  _ He never calls the Force the Force. It’s always just power. It seems less ethereal, like that. Less otherworldly.

_ Fortune telling cards?  _ She does what Ben does - flips her cards over, shuffles. Lays them out, a cross, and a column by the side. Ben moves across the bench, next to her.

_ Here, you flip them over, one at a time. Each one means something different. _ He places her hand on the two cards in the center of the cross.  _ Underneath, the present. On top, the problem that needs to be solved.  _ Ben flips over the first card. It isn’t one of the ones that was in her hand.

_ Blue five, a decision _ . The second,  _ Red seven, aimlessness. You have to make a choice, how to solve how lost you feel. That’s pretty self-explanatory.  _

_ Three and four, _ each side of the cross.  _ The past and future. _ He flips over the third card.  _ In your past, purpose, blue seven. In your future, freedom, blue Emperor.  _

_ Five and six, _ He touches the bottom and top of the cross. This time, he only rests his hand on hers as she flips the cards.  _ Conscious and unconscious. Red Duchess, pain. Red Joke, truth. You feel and acknowledge pain, you accept your struggles, but you do not want them to be real. _ Ben looks at her, brushes his hair back.  _ You remain an enigma, Rey.  _

_ Seven and eight. Your influence, and external influence. _ Bottom of the column.  _ Your influence, blue Duchess, love. External influence.  _ Two cards were stuck together, here. Blue and red tens.  _ A friend and an enemy. External influence is only ever one person. _ Ben purses his mouth, his eyes flick towards her, then back to the table.

_ Nine, hopes and fears. _ Ben’s hand rests warm on her arm as she turns over the ninth card.  _ Red four, the wrong choice. A reasonable fear. You feel the draw of whatever this choice is, want to give in, but fear what would happen. Do you really still think about it? What would have happened if you took my hand? _ Rey nods, but says nothing. She isn’t quite sure how she feels about this digging into her mind. She can feel the Force, touching the cards, affecting the outcome. She knows that it’s true, but... Doesn’t like it.

_ Ten. The outcome. _ She flips over the final card.  _ Yellow empress. I’ve never seen that before. Is this the card you were talking about? _

_ Yes, here. _ She hands it to him.  _ It says, ‘balance’.  _ Rey looks over at the other side of the table, Ben’s cards arranged exactly like hers.  _ No need to over-analyze. It’s your turn. _ She sits in front of his cards, looks at them. 

_ One and two. The present and the problem. The present, blue two. A planet. Nice and literal.  _ Ben slides back over next to her, looks down at his cards, back at Rey. He says nothing.  _ The problem, red Emperor, control. _ Rey isn’t quite sure what to make of that.

_ Three and four, past and future.  _ Ben’s arm is warm on hers, as he leans over the table, studying it.  _ In the past, red Duchess, pain. In the future, blue eight, the stars. This all feels very simple, theres no double meanings in this. It seemed like with mine that everything meant something else.  _ Ben says nothing, but takes a strip of some cloth from a pocket, and ties his hair back.

_ Five and six. Conscious and unconscious. Blue six, a warrior. Look, there’s another one of those yellow cards. Yellow Duchess, falling. What does that mean? _ Rey looks at Ben. He looks worried, brow creased.

_ I don’t know. Keep going. _ He sets his hand on her arm, and squeezes, just a little.

_ Seven and eight. Your influence, external influence. Your influence, red five. A decision. External influences, red three, the moon. What does that mean? You aren’t secretly a werewolf, are you? _ Ben looks startled, and then he breaks into a laugh. 

  
_ No, the moon also represents femininity, or a woman. I think it’s you, in this case. _ Ben flips the last two himself, two more of the curious yellow cards, ten and the emperor.  _ Yellow ten, _ Ben reads the card.  _ You. Look, the image is just reflective. I am my hopes and fears. That’s an uncomfortable thought. Yellow emperor. Self-discovery. That’s my outcome, it says. That can’t be terrible. _


End file.
